i am ashamed of myself

i have been unwell of late so i'm sorry for not getting down to some typing.

Monday night was the worse night i've had for a long time, i kept being sick all night, was unable to sleep and then i did something very upsetting to my Mistress, i self harmed. So i'm now sporting a small burn on my left ankle. i find it very hard to understand why i do this, my life could not be better, i'm working, i have a lot of friends who care for me. my Mistress loves, cares and thinks the world of me. Yet i go out and do something that i know is going to upset them all. i know i have let them all down, all i had to do is reach out to them, but something stopped me....

So i ask them all to forgive me......

i do feel that i am becoming more and more submissive to my Mistress everyday and she treats me more in this roll. i sometimes worry that she finds it hard to understand the way i am, but we are both learning about each other everyday, even now after 6 month's of being together we are still getting to know each other.

i leant the other day when she tells me to do something "at once", i must do it "at once" or get punished.....

i am now wearing full time my ankle chain and collar (picture's below) we are also taking about getting a chain fitted that go's round my waist and down to my ankle, as i all ways ware long skirts or lose fitting trousers it would not be a problem to hide them when out in public (not that i care if someone see them)

on the upside... i've got this week off work, Mistress and i will be going out for days. i'm sure i will post more details as things happen.